I had a whole plan laid out of what topics that fit the theme of Celebration I was going to blog about this month - which got totally sidetracked for a variety of reasons!
A Facebook interaction - a reaction to responses to a post I shared on sharing favorite meals that Mom or Grandma made, which I addressed to my three blood children - has put a pall on the holidays this year.
It is a pall I can choose to wear as a mantle, or one I can cry over and let go - and I will choose the latter.
The holiday season can dredge up all sorts of memories - good and bad - and how we perceive those memories can cause us to either be filled with joy and thankfulness for what we have right here, right now, or they can push us into melancholy, depression, and crying "woe is me" to the world.
So, when I had read responses to my post before bed last night, I was happy that my children - both blood and heart - were remembering good times and good meals. I went to sleep with that positive energy flowing through me.
When I checked the responses this morning, however, I discovered that my son and a Facebook friend of mine had an argument in the thread of the responses, and my son had left Facebook (which he has done in the past). This hurt me deeply, and yes, when I got more information on his responses, I cried.
I love my son and I hurt for him. However, he has issues he needs to address and find a way to heal. Unless he truly acknowledges that fact, takes responsibility for his own life, and works to change and grow into the healthy, happy, responsible person we all know he can be, then these flare-ups are going to continue to happen, particularly during times of celebration.
And that is why I sometimes hate the holidays.
However, I can choose to wallow in the negative emotions or I can choose to let them pass through and focus on the positive instead.
I can choose to respond rather than react. I can take that breath, fill my thoughts with positivity, and move forward from there, realizing life isn't perfect, and this too shall pass.
I will focus on the happy memories of the little boy who loved popcorn toast so much that he tried to make it himself, and continue to send the man that boy grew into positive energy, and hope he finds a way to heal for himself and for his beautiful children.
Namaste!
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Saturday, August 22, 2015
MaXIMIze - Relationships - Communication and Feedback
A lot of the angst and/or friction in relationships comes from communication.
Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. There are the words we say and then there is the meaning behind them. There are also the words we don't say, thinking the other person should know what we mean and want by our non-verbal clues. As I'm sure we all have experienced, this is not often the case.
Few if any of us are mind readers, so we need to hone our communication skills in the verbal sense. And we need to be aware of our non-verbal cues - how our posture is, our eye contact, and even the tone and volume of our voices.
Trust me, I am quite sure the word "fine" has very different meanings for men and women, as an example!
Feedback is also important in communication.
Again, few if any of us are mind readers. If we don't let others know how their words and actions affect us - both negatively AND positively - there can be a serious breakdown in the relationship due to pent-up angst, resentment, and anger.
It's fine to bounce your reaction to the words and actions of one person off of someone else you know and trust as a reasonable and relatively unbiased sounding board, however, once you've sorted out the wheat from the chaff of your reaction, you might need to discuss things with the person whose words and actions you reacted to in the first place.
Open and honest communication and feedback are important elements to the success of a relationship - whether it be personal or professional.
And, if the person you are providing feedback to ignores, rejects, or belittles your feedback, that might need to be examined too, in relation to your, well, relationship.
Is this relationship buoying you up or dragging you down? Is it helping you grow, keeping you stagnant, or worst of all, stifling you?
As always, I welcome your feedback. Contact me here, and let me know how this blog has helped you over the last nearly four years of it's existence.
I am on vacation next weekend, so we will pick back up in September. The theme for the month will be Overall Well Being.
Until next time, Namaste!
Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. There are the words we say and then there is the meaning behind them. There are also the words we don't say, thinking the other person should know what we mean and want by our non-verbal clues. As I'm sure we all have experienced, this is not often the case.
Few if any of us are mind readers, so we need to hone our communication skills in the verbal sense. And we need to be aware of our non-verbal cues - how our posture is, our eye contact, and even the tone and volume of our voices.
Trust me, I am quite sure the word "fine" has very different meanings for men and women, as an example!
Feedback is also important in communication.
Again, few if any of us are mind readers. If we don't let others know how their words and actions affect us - both negatively AND positively - there can be a serious breakdown in the relationship due to pent-up angst, resentment, and anger.
It's fine to bounce your reaction to the words and actions of one person off of someone else you know and trust as a reasonable and relatively unbiased sounding board, however, once you've sorted out the wheat from the chaff of your reaction, you might need to discuss things with the person whose words and actions you reacted to in the first place.
Open and honest communication and feedback are important elements to the success of a relationship - whether it be personal or professional.
And, if the person you are providing feedback to ignores, rejects, or belittles your feedback, that might need to be examined too, in relation to your, well, relationship.
Is this relationship buoying you up or dragging you down? Is it helping you grow, keeping you stagnant, or worst of all, stifling you?
As always, I welcome your feedback. Contact me here, and let me know how this blog has helped you over the last nearly four years of it's existence.
I am on vacation next weekend, so we will pick back up in September. The theme for the month will be Overall Well Being.
Until next time, Namaste!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
MaXIMIze - Special Feature - What are You Giving Up?
I just had to write this post!
A colleague and I were discussing the upcoming Lent season (she's Catholic) on our way back to the office after an evacuation drill this week and she shared something that really intrigued me. Apparently the priest of her parish has put it out to his parishioners that rather than giving up the usual things during Lent - chocolate, alcohol, dessert, etc. - perhaps they could instead focus on giving up bad habits and/or behaviors that bring negative energy into their lives instead. Things like cursing at other drivers when they cut you off, tailgate, or cuts in front of you or complaining because you perceive other people as having things you don't and you should. Or even indulging in negative self talk rather than giving yourself kudos for all the good things you do in life.
Wow, what a powerful message - one I just had to share!
When others do things that would normally send your blood boiling and your mouth going, instead smile, say "Bless Your Heart," and send positive vibes their way. Instead of complaining about a situation, event, or action, find a positive aspect to it and focus on that instead.
Praise yourself and others for the good things you and they do each and every day instead of focusing on the mistakes that are made along the way.
The season of Lent starts on Wednesday, March 4th this year and lasts for 40 days, culminating in Easter in April. I challenge each and every person who reads this blog to spend those 40 days drawing in and sharing positive energy and eliminating negative energy, and let's see what a difference these actions can have in our lives!
Namaste!
A colleague and I were discussing the upcoming Lent season (she's Catholic) on our way back to the office after an evacuation drill this week and she shared something that really intrigued me. Apparently the priest of her parish has put it out to his parishioners that rather than giving up the usual things during Lent - chocolate, alcohol, dessert, etc. - perhaps they could instead focus on giving up bad habits and/or behaviors that bring negative energy into their lives instead. Things like cursing at other drivers when they cut you off, tailgate, or cuts in front of you or complaining because you perceive other people as having things you don't and you should. Or even indulging in negative self talk rather than giving yourself kudos for all the good things you do in life.
Wow, what a powerful message - one I just had to share!
When others do things that would normally send your blood boiling and your mouth going, instead smile, say "Bless Your Heart," and send positive vibes their way. Instead of complaining about a situation, event, or action, find a positive aspect to it and focus on that instead.
Praise yourself and others for the good things you and they do each and every day instead of focusing on the mistakes that are made along the way.
The season of Lent starts on Wednesday, March 4th this year and lasts for 40 days, culminating in Easter in April. I challenge each and every person who reads this blog to spend those 40 days drawing in and sharing positive energy and eliminating negative energy, and let's see what a difference these actions can have in our lives!
Namaste!
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