Relationships are about communication. Communication is about action and reaction - OR - action and response.
I've touched on this topic before in this blog, however, as I was working through a section of the Life Purpose Coach Certification course I am taking through Udemy, I had one of those "Ah Ha" moments. I even wrote down the words "knee jerk reactions" to remind me to blog about communication in relation to, well, relationships.
We tend to color our perceptions and reactions to people, places, things, and the words and actions of others by how we see our experiences - our lives - to date.
However, we can make the choice to respond rather than react. When we react, we are in fact re-acting past experiences, our perception of which may - or more likely may not - be correct in the current instance we are reacting to.
Responding rather than reacting means taking responsibility and looking at the current instance with new lenses and not painting the action with the brush of the past.
Also, responding rather than reacting puts the present you in control, not your past experiences. You become the victor in the situation rather than the victim.
By taking responsibility and responding rather than reacting, we can enhance our relationships with others - and grow ourselves.
So, will you continue to re-act to the actions of others based on your past, or will you take the time to responsibly respond to others based on your present?
CALL TO ACTION: When you feel yourself beginning to react to someone else's action. take a moment, breathe, and determine if your action is truly an appropriate response to the present situation or if it is a knee jerk reaction based on past experiences.
CHECK-IN: Last week we discussed loving our Selves and taking care of our Selves. So, how did you do this past week with taking better care of your Self?
NEXT TIME: We will close up the theme of relationships with by discussing how the way we relate to the world comes from our relationship with our Self. Or at least that is the topic that has caught my attention at the moment.
If you have a specific topic that relates to the theme of the month or is related to living your best life now in general you would like to see addressed, please feel free to post about it in the comments or send me an e-mail about it.
Until next time, Namaste!
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Questions? Comments? Feel free to contact me at the e-mail address below.
Beth Henderson, MaXIMIzer
maximize.beth@gmail.com
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Saturday, August 22, 2015
MaXIMIze - Relationships - Communication and Feedback
A lot of the angst and/or friction in relationships comes from communication.
Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. There are the words we say and then there is the meaning behind them. There are also the words we don't say, thinking the other person should know what we mean and want by our non-verbal clues. As I'm sure we all have experienced, this is not often the case.
Few if any of us are mind readers, so we need to hone our communication skills in the verbal sense. And we need to be aware of our non-verbal cues - how our posture is, our eye contact, and even the tone and volume of our voices.
Trust me, I am quite sure the word "fine" has very different meanings for men and women, as an example!
Feedback is also important in communication.
Again, few if any of us are mind readers. If we don't let others know how their words and actions affect us - both negatively AND positively - there can be a serious breakdown in the relationship due to pent-up angst, resentment, and anger.
It's fine to bounce your reaction to the words and actions of one person off of someone else you know and trust as a reasonable and relatively unbiased sounding board, however, once you've sorted out the wheat from the chaff of your reaction, you might need to discuss things with the person whose words and actions you reacted to in the first place.
Open and honest communication and feedback are important elements to the success of a relationship - whether it be personal or professional.
And, if the person you are providing feedback to ignores, rejects, or belittles your feedback, that might need to be examined too, in relation to your, well, relationship.
Is this relationship buoying you up or dragging you down? Is it helping you grow, keeping you stagnant, or worst of all, stifling you?
As always, I welcome your feedback. Contact me here, and let me know how this blog has helped you over the last nearly four years of it's existence.
I am on vacation next weekend, so we will pick back up in September. The theme for the month will be Overall Well Being.
Until next time, Namaste!
Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. There are the words we say and then there is the meaning behind them. There are also the words we don't say, thinking the other person should know what we mean and want by our non-verbal clues. As I'm sure we all have experienced, this is not often the case.
Few if any of us are mind readers, so we need to hone our communication skills in the verbal sense. And we need to be aware of our non-verbal cues - how our posture is, our eye contact, and even the tone and volume of our voices.
Trust me, I am quite sure the word "fine" has very different meanings for men and women, as an example!
Feedback is also important in communication.
Again, few if any of us are mind readers. If we don't let others know how their words and actions affect us - both negatively AND positively - there can be a serious breakdown in the relationship due to pent-up angst, resentment, and anger.
It's fine to bounce your reaction to the words and actions of one person off of someone else you know and trust as a reasonable and relatively unbiased sounding board, however, once you've sorted out the wheat from the chaff of your reaction, you might need to discuss things with the person whose words and actions you reacted to in the first place.
Open and honest communication and feedback are important elements to the success of a relationship - whether it be personal or professional.
And, if the person you are providing feedback to ignores, rejects, or belittles your feedback, that might need to be examined too, in relation to your, well, relationship.
Is this relationship buoying you up or dragging you down? Is it helping you grow, keeping you stagnant, or worst of all, stifling you?
As always, I welcome your feedback. Contact me here, and let me know how this blog has helped you over the last nearly four years of it's existence.
I am on vacation next weekend, so we will pick back up in September. The theme for the month will be Overall Well Being.
Until next time, Namaste!
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