I had a whole plan laid out of what topics that fit the theme of Celebration I was going to blog about this month - which got totally sidetracked for a variety of reasons!
A Facebook interaction - a reaction to responses to a post I shared on sharing favorite meals that Mom or Grandma made, which I addressed to my three blood children - has put a pall on the holidays this year.
It is a pall I can choose to wear as a mantle, or one I can cry over and let go - and I will choose the latter.
The holiday season can dredge up all sorts of memories - good and bad - and how we perceive those memories can cause us to either be filled with joy and thankfulness for what we have right here, right now, or they can push us into melancholy, depression, and crying "woe is me" to the world.
So, when I had read responses to my post before bed last night, I was happy that my children - both blood and heart - were remembering good times and good meals. I went to sleep with that positive energy flowing through me.
When I checked the responses this morning, however, I discovered that my son and a Facebook friend of mine had an argument in the thread of the responses, and my son had left Facebook (which he has done in the past). This hurt me deeply, and yes, when I got more information on his responses, I cried.
I love my son and I hurt for him. However, he has issues he needs to address and find a way to heal. Unless he truly acknowledges that fact, takes responsibility for his own life, and works to change and grow into the healthy, happy, responsible person we all know he can be, then these flare-ups are going to continue to happen, particularly during times of celebration.
And that is why I sometimes hate the holidays.
However, I can choose to wallow in the negative emotions or I can choose to let them pass through and focus on the positive instead.
I can choose to respond rather than react. I can take that breath, fill my thoughts with positivity, and move forward from there, realizing life isn't perfect, and this too shall pass.
I will focus on the happy memories of the little boy who loved popcorn toast so much that he tried to make it himself, and continue to send the man that boy grew into positive energy, and hope he finds a way to heal for himself and for his beautiful children.
Namaste!
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Sunday, November 2, 2014
MaXIMIze - Gratitude - Preparing for the Holidays
It is fitting that this post is coming out on 2 November - Dia de los Muertos - Day of the Dead - a day when we remember, honor, and celebrate loved ones who have passed on.
While preparing for the holidays does mean the frenetic planning, cleaning, cooking and shopping we all seem to experience at this time of year, it also means preparing for and dealing with the thoughts and feelings that well up as families and other closes ones gather together (or not) during what is supposedly the happiest season of all.
The holiday season can bring up all sorts of memories - good and bad - and the feelings that go with them. It can bring up feelings of guilt, regret, remorse, loss, and lack that can sometimes be overwhelming.
I know this firsthand. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving in 1977, my father passed away from lung cancer at the age of 56. I was a mere 13 years old at the time. Some years have been better than others, but I still feel his loss most keenly during the holiday season. And that's okay.
Yes, it is okay that sometimes we are not happy during the holidays, that we are dealing with negative emotions more than positive ones.
The trick is to not let those negative emotions get in the way of appreciating what is is front of us - and that is true all year 'round, not just during the holiday season.
We do this by acknowledging our feelings and then choosing which ones to focus on - positive or negative.
Take some time when you are preparing for the holidays to consider how you deal with the "holiday blues" and what you can do to mitigate those feelings, where else you can focus your energy, thoughts and emotions.
When my father passed away, I was not yet mature enough to see his foibles and his sheer human beingness - he was still my hero in the strong innocent belief in shiny knights on white steeds that many young girls have.
So, it is easy for me to remember the good things - how he let me be a kid, banging away with a hammer and nails in the backyard, watching the Muppet Show and Hee Haw on Sunday evenings, making fried bologna sandwiches.
I lost my mom early too - in February 1987. She would have been 64 and I turned 23 that year. We had survived my teen years, and she saw my older two children come into this world with me.
Her I miss most at Halloween - she loved the spirit of the season and the costumes. I remember the Halloween that she dressed up as a fortune teller to pass out candy.
It's the good things I focus on and am thankful for this time of year - the rest is just noise to be ignored.
So again - instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives and what we are thankful for in our lives, right here, right now.
Next week we'll discuss Sharing Thy Bounty.
Until then, Namaste!
While preparing for the holidays does mean the frenetic planning, cleaning, cooking and shopping we all seem to experience at this time of year, it also means preparing for and dealing with the thoughts and feelings that well up as families and other closes ones gather together (or not) during what is supposedly the happiest season of all.
The holiday season can bring up all sorts of memories - good and bad - and the feelings that go with them. It can bring up feelings of guilt, regret, remorse, loss, and lack that can sometimes be overwhelming.
I know this firsthand. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving in 1977, my father passed away from lung cancer at the age of 56. I was a mere 13 years old at the time. Some years have been better than others, but I still feel his loss most keenly during the holiday season. And that's okay.
Yes, it is okay that sometimes we are not happy during the holidays, that we are dealing with negative emotions more than positive ones.
The trick is to not let those negative emotions get in the way of appreciating what is is front of us - and that is true all year 'round, not just during the holiday season.
We do this by acknowledging our feelings and then choosing which ones to focus on - positive or negative.
Take some time when you are preparing for the holidays to consider how you deal with the "holiday blues" and what you can do to mitigate those feelings, where else you can focus your energy, thoughts and emotions.
When my father passed away, I was not yet mature enough to see his foibles and his sheer human beingness - he was still my hero in the strong innocent belief in shiny knights on white steeds that many young girls have.
So, it is easy for me to remember the good things - how he let me be a kid, banging away with a hammer and nails in the backyard, watching the Muppet Show and Hee Haw on Sunday evenings, making fried bologna sandwiches.
I lost my mom early too - in February 1987. She would have been 64 and I turned 23 that year. We had survived my teen years, and she saw my older two children come into this world with me.
Her I miss most at Halloween - she loved the spirit of the season and the costumes. I remember the Halloween that she dressed up as a fortune teller to pass out candy.
It's the good things I focus on and am thankful for this time of year - the rest is just noise to be ignored.
So again - instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives and what we are thankful for in our lives, right here, right now.
Next week we'll discuss Sharing Thy Bounty.
Until then, Namaste!
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