MaXIMIze - Relationships - Release the Toxins

You guessed it - this week's subject is toxic relationships.

Let's start with a couple of definitions:

Toxin: a poisonous substance produced within living cells or organisms

Toxic: of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or a poison

A toxic relationship then is one that is having a negative effect on your life - and likely affecting your physical and emotional health in a very real way as well, by causing your body to produce cortisol - a hormone released in answer to stress - and other hormones and chemicals that, in large and/or sustained doses, lead to obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease...well you get the picture.

We all know to stay away from the poisonous and toxic items in our homes - no eating lye soap or drinking bleach or ammonia - right? So why do we allow toxic relationships to form in our lives?

A toxic relationship is like a weedkiller to our personal growth as well as our personal well-being. Would you water your favorite plant with weedkiller, knowing it would likely die from that exposure? Of course not!

So why then do we not only allow but sometimes hold on to toxic relationships in our lives?

From fear, plain and simple. We are afraid of hurting other's feelings, of their reactions to us cutting the ties, of letting go of that which is familiar.

Sometimes we are comfortable in situations that are not healthy for us because that is what we are used to. Those situations seem safe or normal because that is all we have ever known. And, fear of the unknown trumps pain of the known more often than not...

We need to realize though that these toxic relationships are at best slowing our growth and at worst literally killing us day by day. There is a saying about death by a thousand cuts, and that is what holding on to a toxic relationship does to us - drains us little by little, day by day, until we just give up.

So, how do we avoid these to begin with and get out of them if we are already in them? By practicing extreme self-care and letting go of that which no longer serves our growth.

Shedding relationships is not easy - the fear of being alone can be quite intimidating. However, if we practice enough extreme self-care, we will realize and truly understand that we are enough, right here, right now.

Like the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly, and birds molt their feathers and snakes shed their skins, we too should shed the things that no longer serve us - and toxic relationships never serve us. They do not encourage our growth or accept us as we are. They feed the darkness rather than strive for the light.

NOTE: If you are in a dangerous toxic relationship - abusive, controlling, etc. - please seek professional help and make sure you have a support system before shedding the relationship.

Each of us is enough, does enough, and has enough right here right now in order to move forward on the path to our best life now. Keeping that focus helps me to keep the toxins out of my relationships as well as shed the toxic relationships I've developed over the years, and I believe it will help you do so as well.

Next week we will discuss holding on too tightly - something I call "hands and sands."

Until then, release the toxins and remember - You are Enough!

Namaste!