Last week we worked through the Circle of Perception, and now we are ready to do the work to move forward with MaXIMIzing our lives! Yes, we are going to talk about setting and achieving goals. First though, we are going to talk a little bit about values and principles.
Each of us has a set of core values and principles that guide our lives. We know when we drift away from these core items because we feel "wrong" when we do - something feels off, we may even go so far as to feel sick to our stomachs or have other physical manifestations, depending on how far we have drifted.
Why is this germane to goal setting, you ask? In order for us to be successful at attaining our goals, those goals need to be in alignment with our core values and principles.
In order to determine your core values and principles, think of ten ideals that you aspire to and/or that are important to you - things like honesty, integrity, faithfulness, honor, love, peace, just to name a few. You can Google values and principles if need be to find others.
Then, take that list of ten ideals and pick the top five that are most important to you. Now, narrow that list to three. You can even go a step further and narrow those down to the one value or principle that is most important to you, but that is not necessary for what we are doing today.
Now that you have your top three core values and principles, you can vet the goals you develop against them to see if the goals you come up with are truly in alignment with your core values.
And how you vet them is by asking the five whys - this is a deceptively simple method to get to the deepest reasons for wanting to achieve your goals. Here is an example of how this method works, as show by a comedy bit I wrote:
"Excuse me, but you're sitting on my hat."
"That's a hat. Oh, now I see...very cool. Can you tell me where I can get a hat like that?"
"Why?" (first one)
"If you tell me where, I'll tell you why I want a hat like that."
"Why?" (second one)
"The ladies like the look of a well-fitting lid."
"Why?" (third one)
"I don't know, Herby, now where'd you get that derby?"
"Why?" (fourth one)
"Because old chap, I need me a new cap."
"Why?" (fifth/last one)
"Because, some young cat took off with my hat, and that's that."
Yes, even when you are asking yourself the hard questions, and sometimes because it is you asking the question instead of someone else, there can be some evasion, however, if you keep asking why, you will get to the root of the issue and see if why you've set a particular goal fits with your core values.
Okay, on to the science of setting goals that are achievable!
Some of you may recognize the following acronym from the business world - yes, many of the tools used in the business world can be used in our personal lives as well (like the five whys).
S - Specific - answer the five Ws - who, what, where, when, which (how), and why.
M - Measurable - how many/much, when; be concrete, make it tangible.
A - Attainable - one step at a time; break goals down to the smallest steps.
R - Realistic - aim for something just out of current reach, but doable. Goals should not be low-hanging, easy to reach fruit, but rather the fruit in the higher branches - reaching for them will make you stretch and grow.
T - Timely- a saying I came across recently is: "Someday is not on my calendar." Set reasonable timelines - Rome was not built in a day, and neither was your life to this point.
By using the tools I've shared above, you'll be able to achieve the goals you set for yourself because they will be in alignment with your personal core values and principles and you will ask the questions and do the work to make them SMART goals as well!
Next week we will address manifestation boards as a tool to keep your goals visible. You may know them better as vision boards - I'll explain the difference!
Until then, Namaste!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
MaXIMIze - Circle of Perception
So, how are you all doing with powering up the personal prose using the tips and thoughts from last week's blog? Absolutely fantastically, I hope!
Now on to the Circle of Perception exercise that I use in my coaching practice. I also use this exercise myself at least annually to regain perspective on the various areas of my life and to see how I'm progressing based on what I had said previously.
For this exercise you'll need a blank 8 1/2 by 11 piece of paper (a sheet of regular printer paper will do nicely) and a pencil or pen.
First, draw a circle - make it at least 3-4" in diameter. Then, draw three lines through it in order to make six equal slices of pie (or pizza if you prefer). Now label each of these pieces as follows:
Career
Relationships
Financial
Health
Spiritual
Well-Being
So, how does each of these slices taste to you currently? How satisfied are you with each of these pieces of your life? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being lowest and 10 being highest, rate each area of your life.
Now to put that in a different visual perspective, mentally divide the pieces of the pie into ten slices each, radiating from the center of the pie outward, so you essentially end up with nine smaller circles within the original one. Then, for each piece of the pie, each area of your life, starting at the center of the pie, shade out the rating you gave that particular piece.
Now, flip the image from a pie to a wheel - is your life pretty evenly rated all the way around, or is your wheel uneven? If you rated all areas evenly but rated them at, say, five or six, or even seven, then your life is like riding a bike with low tires - pedaling for all you are worth, yet taking longer to get somewhere than you really could if your tires were fully inflated.
For those areas that you rated your satisfaction as 8 or above - they might need a little tweaking here or there - could perhaps be better - however, we are going to focus on those areas that you rated 7 or below - those areas causing the tire of your life to be low at best or totally off-kilter at worst.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is about coaching - NOT counseling. I am not here to fix the ills of your past. I AM here to help you focus on your future and gain knowledge, skills, and abilities to set, pursue and gain the goals to make your life better - something you can rate all around at 8 or above. If the ills of your past are something we identify as a roadblock to that success, you will need to pursue counseling with a trained professional to deal with those issues. I am NOT such a trained professional.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
As you review each of the six areas of your life, here are some questions to ponder until next week:
- What are some of the most immediate/pressing and/or important goals you'd like to achieve in each of these areas?
- What would achieving these goals mean to you - how would you feel?
- What will happen or be different once you achieve these goals? How would that manifest in your life?
- Who/what do you need to help you accomplish these goals?
- When do you expect to achieve these goals?
- When you achieve these goals, what will be the impact to other areas of your life?
- What are the potential or actual roadblocks to achieving these goals?
- What skills and resources do you already have to achieve these goals?
- What else do you need?
Last - what steps will you take to ensure you achieve these goals?
This is your life and you have the power to live your best life now - are you ready to seize that power?
Next week, we will discuss the mechanics of setting and attaining goals - until then, Namaste!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
MaXIMIze - Personal Prose
Before I jump into this week's blog, need to take care of some administrative business. Since this is where I have my coaching business e-mail address - maximize.beth@gmail.com - I figured 2014 was the year to move my blog over as well. So, for the previous blog posts, click here.
Now on to today's post...
Everyone has their personal prose - their way of communicating not only with others, but with themselves as well. By identifying our personal prose, we can work to change it and by doing so bring more of what we desire and deserve into our lives.
Here are some points to ponder:
Do you tend to want to move toward something or away from something? Moving toward something or looking forward to experiencing it is positive prose, and that's where we want to focus.
Do you want to have things or do you want to feel things? Goals that come from the inside, that make you feel good about what you do and who you are, goals that are important to you, the individual, are positive - and that's where we want to focus.
How concise are you when communicating? Do you tend to maybe make mountains out of molehills, as the saying goes? Instead try making molehills out of mountains by looking at where the action or event fits in the big picture, in the long-term view, rather than the short-term, small view.
So, when you catch your inner critic castigating you about something, answer back with, "yes, and next time I'll do ________ instead."
Remember, the space between action and reaction gives you time to frame your response, and thereby take responsibility for your reaction.
Are you garnering power or poison? What words and phrases you consistently tell not only others, but more importantly yourself, have a huge impact on how you view life and how well you attain your goals. Poison words and phrases include but, can't, could have, should have, would have, if only, maybe, might, someday, sometime, try, what if. I'm sure there are others you can identify as well.
One of my mother's favorite phrases was, "Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn't."
And of course there is now the famous Yodaism, "There is no try, only do."
Here is a list of power words to ponder and incorporate into your daily dialogues with others and your inner critic: abundance, accomplish, achieve, among, attract, aware(ness), because, becoming, before, beyond, causes, claim, clarity, comfortably, confident, content, create, delight, discover, during, easily, energized, enhanced, enjoying, exceeds, expanding, experience, flourish, flows, generate, giving, grace, harmonious, imagine, immediate, impact, increasingly, infinite, inspired, limitless, meaningful, naturally, now, passion, perfect, possibilities, purpose, radiates, realizing, receiving, results, success, thriving, transformed, transitioning, wonderfully. I'm sure there are others you can identify and use as well.
So rather than drinking the poison, feed yourself power by using and being these words instead.
Next week, we will work on our circle of perception, an exercise I use in my coaching practice and also use myself at least annually to gain perspective on the various areas in my life.
Until then, namaste!
Now on to today's post...
Everyone has their personal prose - their way of communicating not only with others, but with themselves as well. By identifying our personal prose, we can work to change it and by doing so bring more of what we desire and deserve into our lives.
Here are some points to ponder:
Do you tend to want to move toward something or away from something? Moving toward something or looking forward to experiencing it is positive prose, and that's where we want to focus.
Do you want to have things or do you want to feel things? Goals that come from the inside, that make you feel good about what you do and who you are, goals that are important to you, the individual, are positive - and that's where we want to focus.
How concise are you when communicating? Do you tend to maybe make mountains out of molehills, as the saying goes? Instead try making molehills out of mountains by looking at where the action or event fits in the big picture, in the long-term view, rather than the short-term, small view.
So, when you catch your inner critic castigating you about something, answer back with, "yes, and next time I'll do ________ instead."
Remember, the space between action and reaction gives you time to frame your response, and thereby take responsibility for your reaction.
Are you garnering power or poison? What words and phrases you consistently tell not only others, but more importantly yourself, have a huge impact on how you view life and how well you attain your goals. Poison words and phrases include but, can't, could have, should have, would have, if only, maybe, might, someday, sometime, try, what if. I'm sure there are others you can identify as well.
One of my mother's favorite phrases was, "Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn't."
And of course there is now the famous Yodaism, "There is no try, only do."
Here is a list of power words to ponder and incorporate into your daily dialogues with others and your inner critic: abundance, accomplish, achieve, among, attract, aware(ness), because, becoming, before, beyond, causes, claim, clarity, comfortably, confident, content, create, delight, discover, during, easily, energized, enhanced, enjoying, exceeds, expanding, experience, flourish, flows, generate, giving, grace, harmonious, imagine, immediate, impact, increasingly, infinite, inspired, limitless, meaningful, naturally, now, passion, perfect, possibilities, purpose, radiates, realizing, receiving, results, success, thriving, transformed, transitioning, wonderfully. I'm sure there are others you can identify and use as well.
So rather than drinking the poison, feed yourself power by using and being these words instead.
Next week, we will work on our circle of perception, an exercise I use in my coaching practice and also use myself at least annually to gain perspective on the various areas in my life.
Until then, namaste!
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